oh where oh where oh where oh where
that is how this poem starts
in my mind.
i asked myself, ‘do you recall
where you left that emotion?’
but i couldn’t.
so i just bought time
trying to wait it out
by asking,
oh where oh where oh where

i placed delicate lily petals
on the floor
and lit candles.
the light crept around
the darkness,
along with the sounds of summer
and the heat –
such heat.
i can’t remember your taste,
a memory i can leave
in the past,
but the lily petals,
how they curl inward,
flesh toned and sensual,
they remind me
of who i was –
of who i am –
even as i willingly
release memories of you.

these wide eyes
like legs spread open
is this really empowerment 
i see the shadow
being pulled along
but whose arms hold who at night 
resting with another
not in your nest
is that the recognition you seek 
flesh flesh flesh
but that’s not courage
true strength is surrender
a need to hold 
the longing for passion 
somewhere within
beyond the stained sheets
and the hot nest
you cradle a desire 
for another lifetime

the wind blows in a certain way
during the deep winter months.
it is difficult to describe.
it sounds like a mix between
a shushing sound
and a soft whisper
as it moves along the side of the house
and onward into the night.
it isn’t deep winter,
yet i was awoken
from sleep by its movement.
maybe it is a shushing sound
or a whisper-like hum.
though at this point in my life
it sounds like a memory.
jeremiah once listened to this sound.
who was he?
who was i?
i will not ask this outwardly
to the world.
it holds few answers for me.
the wind has returned again.
did it carried jeremiah away
during its last visit?
no, i simply awoke from my rest
to the wind moving about my soul,
gently pulling all that
which was no longer needed from within.